Thursday, March 31, 2005

Some strange sentimentality

And so all my classes for this semester are over. The 10 page democracy essay and TWC presentation are over and done with. I'm just 2 weeks, a sociology presentation and 3 final papers away from finishing my freshman year.

Feels odd.

Had lunch with Lulu today, the second and last of our Thursday Foodhaven sessions. And we were talking about how it was going to be our second last time eating together on a school day at the Bt Timah campus. Tomorrow being the last. And I felt a tiny twang of missing something.

Then before TWC I went to CR4, finding only Rox alone inside. It's always rare to see CR4 empty, in fact, it's the first time I've seen just one person inside. It's always so crowded and so noisy. And then I remembered that it was in this room that so many friendships were forged and strengthened. New ones that I know will stay with me, and which get me through any day I spend in SMU. Rox, Lulu, Zhong, Nick-S, Koof, Ra, Ron.. And of course, Weiming.

Afternoons spent just laughing away, the ridiculousness yet familiarity of MSN-ing away in the confines of the very same room. Russell Peter's !Xobile 34.50 afternoons. Bitching about profs and disgusting results. Where I became both Elfy and Lala. And I found my Fairy and Lulu. And a missing muffin. Thing is, no matter how tiring my day has been, or how frustrated I am about my horrible projects and datelines, I know that CR4 is always open for me. And there's always someone to talk to. Someone to be there for me.

Just feels odd that it's all coming to an end. And the new campus we're starting our second year is just too big and too clinical for us to find some place we can claim all for ourselves.

So today marked the last time I walked down the wretched hill to catch a bus home. (I think Weiming's driving tomorrow so I don't get to walk down haha). And strangely enough, I think I just might get a little sentimental soon.

Afterall, this is where we met.
This is where we first exchanged everything-
-Glances, names, numbers, conversations, lunches, progressing into dinners.
And without this,
We would never have become us.
So aren't I entitled to a little more mush than I would normally attribute an old school building?


Laid bare at 8:12 pm
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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Happy 22nd Ron!

Celebrated Ron's 22nd today. Rushed to town to buy a cake with Weiming, Rox and Lulu. Settled on a tiramisu, over the ugly green tea cake Meng chose. Guys have no taste(buds)

We had to run all over to hide the cake from Ron, and to make the dramatic grand entrance we wanted! Turning off the lights and walking in with a lighted cake. OooOooOOo so exciting! Rox and I went exceptionally crazy and attempted ninja stunts hahaha.

And it's nice to see your friends smile. Makes the effort all worthwhile. I'm glad the little surprise made Ron's day :) Happy Bday to the dude with the loud booming voice, always preventing us from enjoying a good Russell Peter's fix, and the one who says Lulu and I are crazzzyyyy! Haha I could have sworn he was so touched he CRIED today! Haha!


Laid bare at 1:04 am
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Monday, March 28, 2005

The sweet sweet Sundays of yonder

Midnight's come and gone. Another Sunday snatched away from me.

Sigh.

What happened to the good old Sabbath days, and the no-work-allowed commandment that I think everyone would do good just to follow? What happened to afternoons post-church that saw hours of sleep debt being paid up, waking up only to a satisfying dinner? Vegetating in the bosom of the Sunday Prime Time Movie?

Sigh.

So long since the last kickass movie. So long since the last 4am conversation. So long since the days of trawling the malls, looking for nothing at all. So long since the last late-night tummyfillers. So long since I last slept before midnight. So long since I could answer a what-are-you-doing-now question with a simple Nothing. So long, too damn long.

I miss Candice. 30000 miles away.
I miss Rox.
I miss Lulu.
I miss you.


Laid bare at 12:18 am
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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

The Blower's Daughter

I miss somebody.

Pretty ridiculous, since I saw him on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and even yesterday.

Just one of those random pangs of yearning. Actually I wouldn't call them random, they're not.

Was thinking back about the huge quarrel we had last week. You've got an incredible amount of patience, even when I refused to budge or even listen to you. And you knew just how to get through to me. Through the thickness of the walls I raised against you, you reached back to me. You sent me a song, a hauntingly honest song.

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

When everything was silent in the early hours of the morning, when only my spirits were racing at a dangerous low. This one song made me call, for the very first time. Knowing full well that I
wouldn't ever give this up. And from another part of the same song, I found my reply..

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to leave it all behind?

-You had me at hello.


Laid bare at 7:57 pm
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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Gelare Tuesdays

Ra came down to school today! Haha and he had his initiation into the sisterhood by buying Rox and I drinks at lunch :) He's officially christened BarbaRA Rogan Su Longan. Haha! Ra please transfer over to SMU!

Tried mugging in CR4 with Meng, Ra, Zhong, Nick, Rox, Zhihui (who shall be called LULU from now on) but haha, as usual, we faileddddd... I only managed to finish one pathetic socio media-search question. This time our distraction was some lameass techno song with a fatty grooving to it. Stupid lulu always shows us things to distract us! Numanumaye haha.. It's damn funny!

View the clip HERE

And Gelare Tuesday was revived today! After an eternity of ice-creamless Tuesdays for poor me.. :) Shared a large waffle and ice-cream with Lulu, who contaminated my waffle with her whipped cream and maple syrup. And that silly lulu has to make sure every waffle square has the same amount of cream and syrup before she can tuck in... Weirdo, but Lala loves Lulu ok? :)

Love the CR4 gang hahahaha


Laid bare at 11:41 pm
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Saturday, March 19, 2005

Dedicated to the king of narcissism

By request of Mr Yun Weizhong, the official narcissist and self-proclaimed Prince Charming of the CR4 gang, the following is a pictoral tour of the dude himself.

Hold on and let me puke first.

Zhong, shouldn't you listen to your mother and become more humble? qian xu, qian xu.. Haha

Thus begins Zhong's narcisstic pictoral evidence of CHARM

Fake candid! See how he's trying hard not to laugh :P

Koof says this shot shows zhong thinking the world revolves around HIM. (puke)

The only time Zhong allowed someone into the pic with him. (nice finger bob!)

The Narcissist gears up for battle. (He chased Weiming outta the picture!)

Trying to look suave and composed. Note the emphasis is on TRYING.

Enough of Zhong! In true Russell Peter style, the brothers act like bigshot Italians, the hand signal means what the fuck?!

Laid bare at 2:25 am
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Thursday, March 17, 2005

Crazy Day

Today was totally side-splitting. Hahaha... CR4 was on a whacked-out high. Zhihui, as usual, was acting cute all the way, pissing the hell out of her MA tutor, our very (im)patient Ron Zhang Kangwei. Who proceeded to tell her she was stupid once every 2 minutes. Towner School girl haha, inside joke aye? :) And the crazy nutter proceeded to roar at me haha.. She's damn cute la! Brightens a day with democ and TWC lessons crammed into my pathetically overworked brain.

And Rox and I went mad too, annoying poor Ra to no end on msn. When the fairy and elf combine forces, we can be deadly! Heh.. Ra was rogan, longan, orang utan, bhangRA, RARA banana, rarararara... Haha the poor guy's msn nick is "Ra- no weird names pls.. ra will do.." now. Must be traumatized :P But Rox and I have accepted him into our sisterhood. And he will be henceforth known as babaRA, or BRA for short! Haha

So after Meng stopped us from traumatizing poor Ra any further, we went to the food fair in Suntec with Adam. Haha this was spread across our table - laksa, taiwan fried chicken, satay, taiwanese shredded chicken soup, shark's fin, ee-fu noodles, rotiboy, sausages, beancurd, tangyuan with gooey yucky sweet paste. Calorie-central! Yikes, I have a flabby belly now :(

And then after that, time alone.
The best pocket of time, for the whole day.


Laid bare at 11:58 pm
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Sunday, March 13, 2005

The little pieces

Weary weary day. Our last LTB session with Pertapis. Relief, that's all I'm feeling now. And it's odd, but on dreary days like these, when I return home, too hot to nap, too early to take dinner, too tired to turn on the telly-that I think about you. Little messy thoughts momentarily detached from the rubric of my memories.

And all the little things that make us, us.

The secret glances, my carefully posed questions. Your pre-phonecall sms: k either u're busy or moody, or maybe itz juz over sensitive me again.. but my counselling or cok toking services are available at this pt if u require them..:P The long conversations, deep into the night, which we still can't do without now. The Terminal- our first movie. The Great World City afternoons - you, me, and a giant cookie spin. Long strolls along the seaside. Late night pratas and milo dinosaurs.

Cheesecake hidden in a paper bag. The Botanics. Marina South, just letting the wind tickle our toes. Surprises slipped into my bag, file, wallet, phone...What haven't you done, you little sneak? Tears brushed away, differences lain aside, pride de-constructed. Laughing up a tummyache while watching the Simpsons. Avoiding nosy neighbours. My initiation to 85. Hot Sundays at Siglap. Culinary and calorie excapades- you telling me: I love watching you eat something yummy that you really enjoy, that smile of yours is unbeatable. In-betweens at Black Canyon. The CR4 gang. Making plans- our first holiday! .I'd love you to love me.Finally Found. Our songs

There's nothing you can know that isn't known
Nothing you can see that isn't shown
No where you can be
That isn't where you're meant to be
It's easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need


Laid bare at 6:23 pm
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I hate my weekends!

Had a horrendously long and tiring day at Pertapis... What a waste of a Saturday.. Sorting out books and hurling trash out. My poor back, I swear between Miguel and myself, we hurled out easily 50kg of books into the trashcan :X And the dust got my nose all runny, I was sneezing for a good 2 hours. Rudolf the red nose reindeer.

My weekends are getting more and more pathetic.

Friday was alright. The hair accident, of which acquired me unwanted flattened hair. About the rebonding incident, do not proceed to ask me anything. I am distraught enough! Let's just say that sometimes you should not listen to your relatives, even if they are the ones handling your hair. Apparently, we have very different views on what natural-looking hair should look like.

And I also watched a horrible scene out of Saw, with Rox and Zhihui (yes, NOT lulu) at the back of Weiming's car. We watched this guy saw off his feet, while shooting another guy in the chest. It was gross! Rox was gripping my arm so tightly she left a mark behind haha. And I buried my face in her shoulder. ZH was the least scared, but we were all grimacing and squealing. With Zhong at the front seat mocking our cowardice. Oh go away you birdbrain! Stupid show of bravado, bet he cowers and runs to mummy during scary pics haha

And I do not have the patience to sit through lame slapstick 3hr musicals. My stomach is flabby cos it's not conditioned to laugh continually


Laid bare at 1:17 am
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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

So much love around

First thing:

I got a haloscan comment box! It's below every entry, so click and start talking to me again! :)

I was thinking today, that I'm actually a pretty anti-social person. But I have a split personality, I can be extremely reclusive, yet extremely comfortable with people I have an instant connection with. And with other people who give me bad vibes from the start, it's almost near impossible for me to ever be myself in front of them. It's just me, I guess? Weird.

Everyone I become close to tells me, "I used to think you were the coldest ice-queen when we first met. But now.." Haha everyone, from friends to juniors, and even boyfriends. I'm so used to the ex-icequeen label

In SMU now, I'm really thankful it's nothing like my life in RJ. There, I really withdrew into my shell, hid from everyone and everything. Apathy in its purest form.

Of course there's Weiming. Without which nothing would be complete. Where's my missing muffin?

I'm so glad I got to know Terese! My fairy :) Save for Candice, I've never opened up to someone who was a complete stranger so quickly before. I talk to her when I'm bored, sad, angry, happy, ecstatic, crazy, crappy, moody, hungry, tired, sleepy...All the time. Elf loves Fairy! Even more than she loves Birkies :)

And Syl, my sugar, I'm addicted to her! She's amazing, what more can I say? And there's Zhong, my first friend in SMU (who always neglects me now haha), and YY the rapper who wrote a poem for me! And my dear Neighbour, whom I really treasure and fuss over. And Ron who cracks me up.. And Zhihui whom I still don't know very well, but whom I think is really cute hahaha! And Nick-Shaun and Koof too. The CR4 gang.. And in the past, Charmaine, whom I will just say I miss very very much.

And my caderas girls :) salsasalsa! Ern one of my oldest friends, Alina who makes me laugh til I have stitches, and whom I can be retarded with. Amanda who's just a darling, and sweet ol' Viv who calls all of us darlings. And who can forget our pseudo-girl Zhihon, with hair longer than mine, and who greets me with a hello bitch everytime he sees me.

What's gotten into me? I'm in such a mushy loving mood! Haha this has got to be my longest post in eons :)


Laid bare at 11:14 pm
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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Ode to the PIG

Quote of the day:
"When I sweep the leaves in my garden at home, my neighbours must think my family has a male maid."

Prof Chung is, let's just say, very HongKong.

Sociology lessons are mass MSN sessions. And today's lesson on social stratification just showed me what terrible family planners all of us will make in future. When the family income hits an all-time low, and the kids get too expensive, throw them to Ah Ma. :P

I feel like last Friday's slimming session (heat wraps are torturous, to say the least) have totally gone down the drain. Ha! I've been eating like a cherub spewing water out of a fountain- constant, it doesn't stop. And chowing down junk too, at that.

*Fairy, stop me please? And don't keep encouraging me to eat! Or you can share all the calories by half with me haha :)

I hope my happy biscuits helped
I like to see you smile.
Anyone seen a missing happy muffin?


Laid bare at 8:42 pm
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Friday, March 04, 2005

Wanderlust!

This is a dream come true* I've been hit by wanderlust!

I've been talking about this summer study programme to Switzerland for the past month or so. And when I mention it to people around me, I've been speaking of it in the 3rd-person form, it's as if I hardly dare to even believe something like that is going to happen.

And it is! :)

Confirmations are due, deposits have been paid. The air tickets and accomodation are all confirmed. I'll be going to the University of St. Gallen for a month! And backpacking for a month or so after that! And Weiming is coming with me too. That's always been the best part, from the start.

Been talking about plans with him, and Terese since eons ago. What was meant to be a simple Bali trip for the fairy, elf and their respective other halves has since evolved..... To a trip to Europe for Weiming and I, and a trip to the US for my fairy and Adam :) Can you blame me for being unable to hide my bursting excitement?? WM and I are planning to tour Switzerland, cover Zurich, the Alps.. And move on to Austria (Vienna!!) and Germany (Salzburg and my Birks!), maybe making stops in Paris (oui!) and ending off possibly in London to visit our friends.

And I'll worry about repaying my parents a fraction of the costs when I get back after the 2 mth trip. Terese and I are gonna workkkk, and not spend! Tall order, but heyy we can do it :)

JoyJoyJoyJoy!

I've been getting visions of lying on endless fields of green and gold, under a velvet canvas dusted with stars. Just you and me, and nights of eternity.


Laid bare at 1:26 am
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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Thank you

Sometimes I really let things, big and small ones, get me down. Failures eat away at me, and I turn a deaf ear to well-meaning words.

Thank you for insisting on driving me home. Thank you for giving me space to be upset, yet still care enough so I don't feel neglected. Thank you for bearing with my silence and my moods, you know I don't mean to take it out on you, though I know it seems this way. Thank you for attempting to talk sense into me. Thank you for the custard pastry you surprised me with. Thank you for eating late dinners 2 days in a row just so you could be with me a little longer.

On days like these, I remember something you once wrote to me:
"Love me when I deserve it least, because that's when I need it the most."

.Love in the first degree.
You make me believe


Laid bare at 10:14 pm
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Killing me. A little, everyday

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song


Laid bare at 11:38 am
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