Tuesday, June 28, 2005

11 Seconds of Fame: By Mr OH WEI MING

Dear all, I would like to have you know that I am no short-skirted Celestyn Wong, but a certain charismatic Oh Wei Ming. Yes all you gals out there, this is all that Miss Wong has been gushing about and raving about for the past 8 mths...well yours truly has just been invited as a special guest writer for today, and of course I duly obliged. Who could turn away a babe like Celest?
Haha..ok so to use my 11 seconds of fame wisely, I shall proceed to tell you Celest lovers out there just why everybody loves Celest:

1. Celest is a 100% babe! Stamped and approved by yours truly...
2. Celest has a 3 foot megawatt smile which she just about flashes at anyone...on her good day of course...
3. Celest takes the trouble to know most of my friends even though I've never prompted her to...some gal eh...
4. Celest is as popular on MSN as the Beatles were in Liverpool...
5. Celest is a fantastic late night chatter...as most of you have experienced...
6. Celest has yummy fishball cheeks!
7. Celest has killer legs...OUCH!
8. Celest has followed me on a pilgrimage of soccer stadiums in Europe even though she hates soccer...
9. Celest misses all her friends all the time...especially when she hasn't seem them for a while...
10. Celest is cool!
11. Celest is special...

Ok that hasn't been exactly 11 seconds but I think you peeps get the idea...
Everybody loves Celest...
And so do I...
Haha...
Let's all clap our hands together now and say we love Celest!
"WE LOVE CELEST!!!"


Laid bare at 10:43 pm
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Two hands and two feet please?

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways..

1. I let you play soccer, watch mahjong, and have late night suppers without many real complains most of the time.

2. I have given up trying to make you stop burping after your meals, with or without Coke.

3. I wait up for your daily call to me, even if it's at some ungodly hour in the night.

4. I go all the way to Kembangan by myself. (with the promise you'll send me home, of course)

5. I always inquire if you're hungry.

6. I always offer to buy food or cook for you. Offers which you always decline. I'm not sure if it's because you love me too much to make me walk and dirty my hands, or if it's because you think I will give you food poisoning.

7. When I'm not on one of my i'm-so-fat-i-need-to-diet days, I stuff my face with you.

8. I hang out with your friends, even though you scarcely know mine.

9. Hey an SC girl with a Dunman High boy, that says a lot doesn't it? (though ironically you must admit my Mandarin is better than yours)

10. I don't ask for flowers or a ring from pragmatic you, even though I eyeball girls who have them.

11. I have custom-made my timetable so that it fits yours. (not easy ok!)

12. I accept you even when you have bad haircuts, that lop away your nice floppy fringe.

13. I don't bat an eyelid when you tell me XXX is hotstuff. I even tell you to look when a hot girl walks by.

14. I hug you all the time even though you're like a block of wood on your bad days.

15. I get that smiling-like-an-idiot, tingle-in-my-spine disease very very often with you. Enough to make me look like a looney cheshire cat. But I don't hide it.

16. I introduced Sue Townsend and Adrian Mole to you!

17. I convinced the parents to let me go on a 2 month trip to Europe with you.

18. I bite my lip and count to ten in hopes of letting peace into my head, when I should be blowing steam out of my ears. Quarrels are so much less heated now, don't you think?

19. I cut my hair short mostly because you wanted me to.

20. And most of all, I have become a sucker for your cheesy roti_kaya11 promise, stolen from an even cheesier movie: Without hope or agenda, to me you are perfect... And my wasted heart will love you.

These are the ways that I love thee,
count them please now, one..two..three


Laid bare at 1:37 am
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Monday, June 27, 2005

This tricky little thing

I happened to recall a sneaky little trick I played on an equally sneaky someone a long time ago.

A gimick of names, placed strategically in numbered spots. One, Two, and Three.

I must confess I expected the worst - a relegation into an insignificant spot. Which I was prepared to follow up with sneering and the hailing of a woman's intuition; that a man's brains lie strategically between his legs.

But the fact that just one name was present; mine, and that all that accompanied that were 2 blank spaces - It took my breath away.


Laid bare at 12:19 am
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Saturday, June 25, 2005

Class of 2003

Toe and Pao possess horrendously good persuasive powers. They actually managed to yank this stubborn mule to the first official RJ reunion for the batch of '03.

I saw people I haven't seen since my last A'Level paper ended.
Alicia my superglue partner. May who called herself the love of my life and who actually gave me a watch to prove it (haha!). Clare who had gravity-defying hair. Bimbim. Du. Isaac Yee and his hearty chuckle. Renyung. Isaac. Kennedy (whom I actually see quite regularly at Mambo haha!) Yvette, whom I ran into in London. Aiky. Samuel Birdy Kwek. Huang Jian. Xueying. Qiuyun who always looks so good. Vina my OG mate. Dave. Dennis. Sida.


Qiuyun and I.. She always looks effortlessly glam!

Just like old times, The Hotties played again, with Dave as guest guitarist. And then Obese Butterflies came on, with a guest vocalist, some dude called Darren from AC. It is safe to say he got everyone's ears perked up for the first time that whole night. Nudgenudge Chaleneeeee???? Haha namecards always come in handy huh?

Other than that, the mingling reminded me so much of the chickflick Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. Everyone inquiring in polite tones about another person's uni/army/overseas life. Or maybe it's just me, I've never managed to hold onto the Rafflesian label without any personal alienation and a sense of oddness. Cold fried fish and soggy beehoon didn't do much to perk me up.

But arm in arm, the three of us trooped around. Getting tired together, getting bored stiff together, stuffing ourselves silly together, laughing together, yakking together. Taking silly bathroom shots and pouting like the drama queens we are not. I never get tired of friendships like the one Toe, Pao and I share.


Celest cannot live without her big TOE


Pao and me being idiotically smileless (cmi!)

That alone, was the saving grace of tonight. For me, it was just the two of them. The best friends I made out of my two years there.


We go way back...


...Right up till now


Laid bare at 11:55 pm
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Friday, June 24, 2005

Take a minute, take a moment, realize..

Wednesday
Mambo Night was my first retro fix in over 2 months. However I reckon it wasn't exactly the best of nights. Vodka ribena is starting to turn into a straight path to diabetes central, and downing 3/4 of a jug too fast isn't going to leave it sitting nicely in your tummy. The DJ change was disappointing. This new guy leaves you boogying to the rhythm of the last song before you realize that the new song has sliced in so fast it's impossible to get your act together and jiggy to a different beat. Boomboomboom just doesn't cut the grooves of a twang.

Put these together with what Changqi dubbed "the lowest and cheapest of all 22 year olds". Shake that up with a hairy transvestite touching himself all over. And voila! You have a molotov cocktail exploding in your face faster than you can aim it away.

Thursday
The Mango sale was a safari right in the middle of town. I have never known limbs as agile and feet as nimble as those belonging to the women there today. A swoop of that sprightly body and the long boho skirt in cream and brown; size 8; sans stains, is out of sight. Clothes tumbling from growing piles of unwanted ware. Sheryl must be glad she avoided the jungle by queueing at 730 in the morning.

Meeting called to order at 10:36 PM (I know, I checked the clock). Relevance for my presence ended at 11:43. Four people talking, then three. Of which two possess the decisiveness of plankton tissue. My physical relevance has yielded the following useful observations:
1. Men's Health has great illustrations.
2. The airbrushing and oiling they do to the hunky dories is amazing.
3. Wendy is a great comfort on the phone.
4. Koof has nice pictures on the wall.
5. I like Koof's wordy bedspread, too bad it isn't mine.
6. Cold diet cokes end up in their own melted puddles.

Obligation, most probably. Just this way, hardly ever the other.

My hair is drying at 2:24 AM because of irresolution, uncertainty, oscillation, averseness, dubiety, dawdling, hesitation and incoherence. I hope I'm making my point short and sweet there.

Irritation does lead to (un)witty sarcasm. Forcibly kept awake, not by jetlag. But by wet hair and what leads up to..

..Friday
Please be a better day.


Laid bare at 2:22 am
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I'm back!

Touched down at 8pm Monday night. Jetlagging now, which explains this unearthly hour post.

It's only 730pm in London. I would be wolfing down a platter of beer-battered fish and greasy chips if I were there now.

It is so hot and humid here. My skin has been pampered by cold breezes and sub-ten temperatures, so even typing on the laptop makes me feel like I'm digging in a oil rig.

My dog doesn't recognize me now, just after TWO MONTHS of me being away. She growls at me, and doesn't stop barking and attempting to sink her chops into my hand. Traitor! :(

I want Krispy Kremes.

I want war museum exhibits.

I want long afternoons lingering at quirky bookstores.

I want scones, cheese twists, tarts and jellybean bags.

I want live soccer games explained to me by the minute.

I want to be walking around Covent Garden and St. James' Park, led by someone burying his nose in a map.

I want to wake up and smile because you are right by my side.


Laid bare at 2:31 am
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Thursday, June 16, 2005

Krispy Kremes, I worship thee!

Today was a yummy yummy day for my stomach. Bad, yet again, for the love handles I am starting to see appear all over. But ooh yes, my tummy has created a shrine for..

Krispy Kreme's orignal glazed donuts!

Yes these holed jewels are completely mind-blowing. Guys should beware because these donuts provide orgasmic sensations to girls more powerful than the male species think they can! Haha ok I'm exaggerating. But these were dead good. Hot crusty donuts straight out of the frying pot, glistening with a layer of semi-melted opaque sugar glaze. When I popped one in my mouth, my eyes popped too! The sugar glaze just melted, and the pastry was soft and thinly crisped at the same time.

I lusted for more than one. Ended up finishing TWO AND A HALF donuts all by myself in a span of 5 minutes. Lucky for me (haha I'm so evil), Meng had a bad tummy from eating too messy a crepe an hour before, so he only managed half of his donut. I scoffed down the other half, only after mock-pretending to refuse it :) Haha. And they give away free donuts to people standing in the line (the line was constantly long). Whole free donuts, not bite-sized samples. Amazing stuff. The last time I had a Krispy Kreme was like 2 years back, when Ryan flew back 4 dozen long boxes from the States for his party. And those were 1 or 2 days old. But nonetheless, still fantastic. You can imagine just how awesome the hot ones tasted on the spot.

Alright, I shall spare everyone from my continuous gushing over my newfound love. Harrod's at Knightsbridge was fantastic. The food hall was really nice, and all with a price to match too. Chocolates, pastries, an amazing patisserie section, international food, lots of tins boxes with candy, shortbread, and nuts. Ooh yummmyyy. Meng got this monster of a pork pie from one of the halls. He never learns his lesson not to eat food that kills his tummy for the entire day. This pie was nearly half a kilo in weight and larger than his palm spread-eagle! It was stuffed full of cooked pork and a thick layer of pork gelatin. Pork lard was the third listed ingredient on the label so you can imagine just how much lard there was in there. Euchhh! He barely finished half of the pie before he attempted to break British laws by feeding the rest of the monster to the eager pigeons surrounding us. Haha and all this was after he chowed down on a crepe filled with heavy chocolate syrup, chocolate bits, bananas, whipped cream, double cream, dessicated coconut and butter. Why oh why doesn't he act like a normal person and be contented with a crepe suzette? Haha but in London, he's actually been eating less than me. Miracle of miracles!

So yeah today was nothing but food food and more food. I had donuts, a huge poppy seed loaf, chocolate, a fritata, an entire bag of Jelly Bellies, an entire bag of yogurt covered raisins... All before dinner. I am a certified British pig.

Oh gimme that Krispy Kreme original now!

Would anyone wish to indulge in a Krispy Kreme feast with me when I get back? I could attempt to fly 2 dozen back with me, though I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I'm still trying to figure out how to persuade the Top Management of Krispy Kreme Co. that Singapore is a worthy place to set up branches in, but in the meantime, any takers for a pigout?


Laid bare at 1:53 am
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

I feel like Bridget Jones- the calories, the fixations, the silly sense of awe

Alrightey, hello finally after yonks of not blogging. The previous 2 entries were written in Spain, but I couldn't find one of the symbols in my login name on the Spanish keyboard haha... So here I am, more than a week later, blogging again.

Oh yes, before I forget, the night before we left for London, we watched a soccer match in Valencia. Timing's always perfect for us here (well, for Weiming anyway, at least). We always manage to catch important matches during the time we stayed in places they were being played in. The last game of the German league in Munich, and now the Spain/Bosnia game in the World Cup qualifiers was held the last night we were in Spain. So there we were, in a stadium bathed in red and orange, and hot-blooded Spanish fans. We got tickets from a tout, double the price but it was still quite reasonable. Twas quite an experience! Though I had to keep pestering him about what was going on in the field, and in particular, what an offside is. (Yes I still haven't figured it out, even after so many years of being surrounded by soccer nuts) The atmosphere is nothing like the quiet matches we're so used to in Asia, and the almost empty stadiums at normal S-League games.

Merry old England this time. Well, London, to be precise. It's back to cold weather again, after 2 full weeks of sunshine in Southern France and Spain. I'm pretty happy with the prospects of digging up my sweaters and jackets from the bottom of my luggage, I've grown to dislike the sun and heat. Looks like trouble when I get back to Singapore. :(

So I've been here since Thursday, staying in Steph's room. She was really nice to let us have her room to stay in. Checked out the normal accomodation prices in London, and they are on par or if not even worse then Swiss ones. Exhorbitant. Her place is at Waterloo, which is so near King's College (why oh why is my Candice not here??!) It's pretty close to a lot of the places in the central area, and the Metro Underground takes us everywhere in a jiffy.

We went to see the Stella Artois Tennis Championships last Friday, it was held at the Queen's Club. The price of a ticket to the central court (where aces like Andy Roddick and Hewitt, and not-so-ace ones like Tim Henmen were playing) was SIXTY POUNDS! Blimey! SGD180! Generally I try not to do the triple conversion too often here cos it can really kill, but that was really too damn much. So we settled for side-court seats for 12quid, and I think we got a pretty good deal too. We watched the final match of the Junior Singles, and it was won by this guy from Great Britain. And we also watched the Semi-Final Singles match between R. Gasquet and R. Stepanek. Gasquet's from France, and Stepanek's from the Czech Republic. So you can see I was pretty happy when Stepanek beat Gasquet in the end. And the last match we saw was a Doubles game between Bryan/Bryan of the US and Grosjean/Clement from yes, France again. I felt a wee bad for wishing Grosjean and his partner would lose the game, because the poor bloke had already been defeated in a Singles match earlier in the morning. But well, the US brothers won, and the younger one was quite cute actually. Haha :)

We also went shopping at Oxford Street and Bond Street. Didn't buy anything, because it is so expensive, and poor student tourists like yours truly don't have fat bank accounts like the rich and famous here. I've been reading a lot of those brill Brit tabloid magazines and celebrity gossip editions, so hearing about their latest Matthew Williamson skirt, Roberto Cavalli gown or Collette Dinnigan camisole makes me a little green that I am so unable to spend anything in London. Well, I did find a Dorothy Perkins bohemian A-Line skirt for just 10quid, and I was quite happy about that. :)

We also visited Camden, which is a totally punk hangout! There were people with gravity-defying spraypainted hairdos and piercings everywhere. It was quite a sight. Camden also had the largest flea market I have ever seen in my life! It spans several streets and they sell everything there. Clothes, sex toys (I even saw a metal head clasp promising orgasms when clamped around the temples), I-Love-London stuff, books, food, bags, shoes, piercings, fishnet stuff, punk leather bits and paintings.

Food here is so expensive too, but my eyes (and succumbed stomach) have been feasting on everything around. On Saturday, we went to Borough Market. It was the most fantastic street feast ever! Meng had a huge pork burger- a huge juicy patty spilling over the side with gerkhins, runny egg yolk and relish. I had really good hot cheese sticks and carrot cake with the most amazing cream cheese icing I've ever tasted. The Dark Sugars bakery stall was a humongous sin. The blueberry almond tart is so good, and there are brownies, petite chocolates, countless iced cakes, pies, tarts and haevenly fudge squares. We also had fried broad beans dusted with cheese and BBQ powder, that dyed our fingers orange. And chocolate coated coffee beans and sugared cashew nuts were just fantastic! The chinese food here is not bad too, though I had a bac experience at Four Season's, this famous place at Bayswater. I ordered 'Malaysian style horfun' only to find it was a plate of oil and flour. Euch! But Meng enjoyed the roast duck there, he said it was fantastic. I also love the egg fried rice at this chinese takeout at Waterloo, it's so nice and sesame-oil scented!

For normal lunches we normally eat on the go. Pret A Mager is a wonderful sandwich place that fixes it sandwiches fresh everyday. The egg and cress was wonderful, but the crayfish and rocket quite a letdown. I've yet to try the Krispy Kremes at the Harrods store at Knightsbridge. That is a very high priority on my agenda. :)

Ooh what a mouthful that was. I think London's really nice, and I'm already looking forward to dinner. Steph's flatmates are bringing us out to dinner tonight, and my greedy tummy can't wait! :)

--And oh yes! There are sooooo many Adrian Mole books by Sue Townsend here. I am positively her #1 fan, I would shamelessly admit. :) I am a happy camper!


Laid bare at 5:24 pm
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Monday, June 06, 2005

These boots are made for walking

We walked so much today. My feet are killing me. And this is the first time in Spain that we're eating dinner at a correct time. Our lunches are always normal, but because the food is so cheap here, we're always snacking along the way. A bag of jellybeans here, a donut there, a small sandwich, a tortilla- and we're stuffed! So we always end up having dinner at 11pm. I'm putting my foot down and demanding for a normally-timed dinner tonight. I can feel all the fats sloshing around in my tummy :(

It's another all-you-can-eat buffet tonight. This one's at a place called Fres Co. It's very well-known here, and featured in many backpackers´ bibles. Bless my wobbly stomach.

I realize I'm always digressing from what I mean to say. So yes, we walked so much today. It was crazy! Went to the Olympic site in the morning after hauling our baggage to another hotel (we had to move out cos we extended our stay in Barcelona by one more night). That was where the 1992 Olympics were held. It was quite an experience to be there. I remember all the times we went Olympic-crazy in sec 3. And the 1992 Olympics were the first Olympic games I remember watching. Was just a wee 7 year old then. The Galleria Olimpia was quite cool. There were displays of memorabilia, video screenings, mascots, reproductions of the atheletes´ village, and of course the medals and the Barcelona'92 official torch. That was the first torch to be lit by a burning arrow shot out by an archer in a couple of thousand years.

And then we walkedddd and walkkkeddd to the Barcelona Sants train station to try to make a reservation for tomorrow morning's train to Valencia. Only to realize that it was a wasted trip cos Meng left the Eurail passes back at the hotel! Then we went to the Sagrada Familia. That's one of Antonio Gaudi's creations. To the Spanish in Barcelona, Gaudi is like the father of their city's infrastructure. He was a very famous architect and responsible for many of the works here. Like the cheapskates that we are, we didn't want to pay to go in for a look. So we did the next best thing! We slipped into the giftshop and read the English edition of the history book on sale. Haha :) Gaudi was in charge of the Third Cathedral wing of the Sagrada Familia, which actually is a cathedral site built in the 1800s for the holy Sagrada family. He dedicated himself to the construction, and the interior is a signature Gaudi site. Full of colours, mosaics and patterns. But this is also called ´Gaudi's Unfinished Dream´ because he was killed by an oncoming tram at age 43 when he was walking out of the worksite. What is sad about this place is that they are trying to construct a middle tower and side wing, which Gaudi never got to complete. I think they should just leave it alone. Gaudi's Unfinished Dream should just stand as he left it.

We walkeedddd again after that back to the Las Ramblas stretch. I was fibbed that it was a one hour walk, but no... It took double the time. Double! Can you imagine? And all after 4 to 5 hours of walking earlier on... I have only the buffet to look forward to! To replenish all the calories lost today.. Wheeee!!!!!!!


Laid bare at 6:23 pm
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Sunday, June 05, 2005

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain

Hola!

I'm in Spain now, finally out of French ground! And ooh boy, it has been a fantastic 3 days so far here in Barcelona. Maybe it's just me, glad to be out of travel misery, so everything in this new place just thrills me to the core. :)

The thing about Barcelona is that there is wayyyy too much to see and do here. I haven't been in a city as happening as this before. The people are very very friendly and helpful (ahem ahem, unlike ... ..., whom shall remain unmentioned for fear of offending certain people. Discreet, as you can see, is not my middle name haha) The city never sleeps! People have dinner at 11, and so many eateries and bars are packed with people even at 2am. The clubs start to fill up really late, and the principle of party-till-dawn is no doubt, Spanish-owned.

We went to the home stadium of FC Barcelona, Camp Nou. Which, of course, was a must-go for us because of a certain Mr Oh Weiming. We went to see the pitch and the stadium seating capacity was 100000! I silently thanked my lucky stars we were there only when the Spanish League season was over, because I certainly wouldn´t want to be squashed up amongst so many football crazy people. And I know that if we were there, the same afore-mentioned Mr Oh would insist on going for a match.

So anyway, we got to see the stadium from the grandstand, from the commentators' seats, from the polticians' places, and from the high boxes you have to pay a hand and foot to buy a ticket to sit in. It was pretty nice, except for the fact that Mr Oh seemed to only be content with 10 shots of the SAME patch of grass and stadium background. Ok I'm exaggerating. A little. :P Went to the FAB museum after that, and they had everything from memorabilia, to signed documents dating back to 1902 when FCB was founded. I found out that Camp Nou not only houses the soccer team. It is a sports club that includes handball, basketball and hockey too. All their trophies and past wins were all put on display. I found out that Salvatore Dali was a very important associate of the club and he did a fair bit of painting and artwork on FCB and soccer in general. There were a lot of photos om display. Needless to say, Mr Oh was starry-eyed. For me, I only noted that the evolution of hairstyles from the 1960s to the current style today is something they should all be thankful for. And the only face I recognized from FCB was Ronaldinho. And he isn't even Spanish, hoho! So much for sharing your boyfriend's interests. :)

I've got a lot of shopping done here too! Portal d lÁngel is this fantastic long stretch of affordable shops with so much choice to offer. Every street we turned, there was a Zara or a Mango. Zara here is fantastic, they have so many things we don't in Singapore. I bought a short green skirt and a white camisole. And something from Mango for my Lulu! I'm still looking out for stuff for the rest! United Colours of Benetton is really nice here, but I already got my UCB-Zurich top, so I bit my lip and refused to open my wallet there. :( Paseo Gracia is the expensive shopping stretch that shouts names like Hermes, Cartier, Ferragamo, Lacoste (insanely priced here). Needless to say, no shopping done there at all. We walk through Las Ramblas very often. It is a long stretch filled with street stalls selling jewellery, knick knacks, flowers (I counted 9 florists in a row), accessories, funny weird stuff and food. There are a lot of street baskers here too, and they have the zaniest craft to display. THe best so far would have to be this man who was controlling a frog puppet while standing up, and the puppet was playing on a piano. The puppet managed to play songs out! It was really good. And there are a lot of street artists as well, doing paintings, portraits, caricatures, and photography.

We went to the cathedral as well. It is the epitome of Gothic culture. Nothing like the lavishly decorated ones I have visited so far. No sign of high stained glass panels and murals anywhere. There was a service going on today when we went in the morning. In the late afternoon, we visited Park Guell. It was an extremely uphill climb that we had to endure. But I think it was alright, thanks to the training all of us have had in Europe. There are hills and upslopes everywhere. I felt like I was climbing mountains everyday in Lausanne. So anyway, there was a very nice view of the entire city of Barcelona from the park. It is very packed, very densely constructed. But there aren't as many tall buildings like in Singapore. At the highest point of the park there were 3 crosses, one big and two small. Very symbolic, it was almost like they constructed Calvary on the peak of the hill. I'm not surprised because Antonio Gaudi was asked to construct this garden town amidst the bustle of the city at the turn of the 20th century. Gaudi is a very famous name in Spain. So many of his architectural works and creations are evident even today. Gaudi mosaics are printed on t-shirts and sold as Barcelona tourist shirts.

Oh yes, I must talk about the food here. In a notoriously pricey continent like Europe, cheap food is a godsend. Spain is by far, the cheapest place I have been to here. Switzerland, of course is in a league of her own when it comes to pricing. Being there for a month has made me appreciate cheap food so much. And Barcelona is sensational when it comes to food. There is so much food here, of every kind on every street. Chinese and Japanese food is normally very expensive and weird-tasting in other places, but over here, it is really good! I've tried so much food, and not the normal bread and sandwiches which have become my staple diet here. Yesterday night we went for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Was stuffed above my head! Russian salad, nicoise salad, greek feta salad, cheeses, free booze and drinks, potato salad, create-your-own salads, soups, pasta, paella and rice dishes, hot crusty pizza with cheese dripping off the plates, ice-cream, fruit.. I still remember in Switzerland, the term ´buffet´doesn´t mean all-you-can eat. It just means that the food is laid out, and they charge you like CHF2.50 for a measly 100grams. Pearl mistook the meaning of buffet and ended up paying CHF14 for vegetables and cheese, which is nearly SGD20. It was insane. Barcelona couldn´t be more different! And I tried real Spanish paella for the first time! It´s very different from the ones I had in Singapore. The real version here is wetter and filled with more gravy. Yummy yummy yummmy!

I'm just so happy to be in Spain! Muchos Gracias!


Laid bare at 10:21 pm
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Thursday, June 02, 2005

Not quite the France I had in mind

It's our last day in France. And unlike in Switzerland, where the tugging of heartstrings was so eminent, I have to say that I can't wait to leave France.

I think in my time here, besides being severly handicapped by my non-existent knowledge of the language and their refusal to speak in English, I saw what is a very deep-rooted problem here. There is a deep degree of racism here and an adament refusal to accept anything that is new or foreign. Francophiles can be likened to those Hight Street Anglophiles in Britain, with their hawhaw accents and gait. The real difference lies in the fact that these Anglophiles are one or two big aristocrats in a street of two hundred. But here in France, the whole country seems to be full of people of the same kind. Francophilics in every street.

Yesterday was, I have to say, just about the most harrowing day of my entire life. We went to Collioure, this seaside town about half an hour away from Perpignan by rail. The Mediterranean sea is so clear, and everywhere we walked there was the salty scent of sea spray, an endless expanse of clear water and blue skies. People in bikinis and bare chests were strolling around, the fresh seafood and swaying palm fronds were so surreal. That one day was ALMOST enough to change my bad impression of France.

ALMOST. Until the time came for us to leave.

You see, we had planned to take the 2045 train back to Perpignan, instead of the 1836 one. That gave us enough time to enjoy our woodfire pizza dinner and ice-cream in divine slow bliss. Butwhen we got to the station, there wasn't a soul in sight. None, it was so silent you could hear a pin drop. We had to yell for the guy living above the station, and he told us to check the schedules pasted in front. See, the French trains were going on strike the next day (which is today), but we didn't know it was going to affect the previous day's schedules. Nothing was said when we bought our tickets earlier in the day, not even a word of caution about this. Not even the 9pm summer sunset was going to save us from this helplessness. We very simply put, were stuck.

We waited for the 2149 train with this Morrocan PHD student studying at the university of Perpignan. He was stuck too, with a bicycle and no train to get onto. Standing for one and a half hours, he filled us in about all the problems a foreigner faces in France, because of all the racism and pride. Imagine a PHD student like him being told to go work in agriculture instead of the hotel business by some high-strung French supervisor. He speaks 5 languages, has a Master's in tourism, and this shit gets thrown to him just because he isn't French. And the French public workers are protesting about a 35 hour work week. Apparently, getting to work at 10 and leaving at 4pm is too much for them.

And the Morrocan guy told us about the situation in Perpignan, which we had been totally clueless about right up to that moment. The night before we arrived in Perpignan, 2 Arabs and 1 Morrocan were killed by the Gypsies. There have been riots and fires set in the street, and large gatherings of the mob. We didn't know anything about this at all! So blissfully ignorant to the violence going on. Walking in the alleys this morning, we saw scores of smashed shop windows, and posters of the slain in the middle-eastern parts of town. It was scary. When we arrived, there were tons of policemen in every corner of the street, in huge patrol cars and vans. Meng even chuckled that we were going to be so safe because obviously there was a policestation near our hotel. HOW VERY WRONG. These policemen have been deployed from as far away as Marseille to come deal with this huge racial clash. There is so much talk of retaliation and revenge, and many more fanatics coming to Perpignan to ride on the wave of violence.

So anyway, back to the Collioure story. It was getting so dark and there was still no train in sight. We were prepared to blow 60Euros to get a cab back to Perpignan. Staying a night in Collioure was out of the question cos the train strike was the very next day. There were no cabs in sight, and I was fretting. We ended up getting a ride back from 2 very kind old ladies, who sent us to our hotel doorstep. And that was an amazing miracle. I think someone up there loves us very much, I was praying so feverishly. I don't think I have ever felt this lost and this helpless ever before. I think the fear can't be described in words, and everything was exacerated by the fact that it was so dark there. Not a streetlight in sight along the way. Darkness does strange things to your guts. I just thank God we're all ok. A sigh of relief isn't enough to describe how I felt when it was all over.

Sigh. I think just spending 9 days in France has been enough to make me sick and tired of everything here. The people are totally unlike the Swiss or the Germans, who try their best to speak in English so that you understand them. Here, it's the real McCoy or nothing. And the streets are filled with dogshit. Dried ones from eons ago, fresh poo with flies buzzing atop the grand lump of crap, flattened ones crushed under the soles of unfortunate souls in stride, and even watery ones that spill mystery green muck to the side. Trust me, I've seen all sorts of doggie poo here. And to think I was so amused by the small black dog poo bags they have beside dustbins in Swiss parks. Here, I have come to appreciate the immense power of those tiny bags. Here in France, we can't even keep our eyes on the map to navigate as we walk. We have to constantly be on dog poo alert everywhere we walk. And the unmistakable stench of ammonia and urea can't be missed. I get headaches sometimes.

I guess I can't help but be disappointed by the France that I see. The people aren't warm and hospitable like thte Swiss. They aren't close-knit and kind like the middle-easterners. The streets aren't filled with nice chateaus, fountains, and manicured lawns. The place doesn't smell of hot croissants and afternoon tea. (ammonia and cammomile couldn't be more different, really)

So really, I can't wait to get out of France. Enough is enough. The weary traveller sets in.


Laid bare at 10:34 pm
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