Monday, September 12, 2005

Giving your heart away

Talked to the one I call Sugar today. Just for a moment, a couple of minutes. But I heard so deep a pain, so profound a weariness, so broken a faith in her voice. And we were just talking about the arrival of our AE goodies, nothing even remotely close to the crux of the problem. Like Drea said, I too want to take her into my arms and rock her to sleep with a simple lullaby, wipe away all her tears, cover her wounds with cheery flourescent pink bandaids. Tell her I love her so much, and it pains me to see her like this. Tell her that she's probably more loved than she thinks she is.

Tell her I understand why she's doing all this to herself, tell her I will never judge her the way the whole world does. She's not stupid, she's not depressed, she's not a miserable girl making her suffering even more apparent. All she did was give her heart away.

Tell me, just what is wrong with giving your heart away? What is so wrong about falling heads over heels into something? What is so wrong about downing Love Potion #9 in liver-bursting quantities? Whatiswrongwhatiswrongwhatiswrong?

Some people give their hearts away, and find a heart of equal depth and dimension entrusted to them in return. Some people give their hearts away and quietly slip away into selfless oblivion. Some people give their hearts away and slowly build a story together. But some people give their hearts away and get charred remnants of cardiac tissue and diseased sinews of pseudo heart valves in the form of lies and broken promises. My sugar does not deserve this. Nobody as well-intentioned, sincere and commited as she is deserves this.

Some other people are just more loved than they deserve to be, for all the things they've done, and more so for all the things they haven't done. Treachery, thou hast a name.


Laid bare at 12:05 am
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