Sunday, December 04, 2005

The sound of silence

I waited all day.

I grit my teeth before the paper, forced myself to suck it in real hard and get the damned thing over and done with. And hopefully passing it. Because with everything that happened last night, how can anything above the sound of a D grade be plausible for me?

At 4pm people were smiling megawatt grins and prancing out of the exam rooms. The end of all exams for the year. I walked so slowly, it was almost painful trying to respond with a faux smile. Yes, the exams are over. Great great. Yes I'm ecstatic, what do you mean it doesn't show on my face?

I waited.

And then I went to town, where the Christmas crowds were uglier than I ever remembered. Everything's ugly when you're not yourself. Jun saved me for awhile. We waltzed around town, with my damned hand clutched over the handphone. Wanting to talk things out, wanting to throw everything ugly out on the table and communicate. Talk, communicate, make conversation, whatever. Anything to find out what the hell went wrong this time. Because this time, it feels... I don't know, bad.

And still I waited.

- I only heard silence.


Laid bare at 3:29 am
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