Friday, January 13, 2006

Skanky black mother of pearl

MoS.

I think I don't enjoy clubbing anymore. I still like the dancing, very much so. But I no longer find any thrill in standing around drinking in a circle, looking at other people get pissed drunk, or partying with loud whoops in response to lots of "PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR/LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE!" music mixes. Nor do I enjoy threatening the well-being of my feet, doing the jiggy in heels will kill them someday.

It's just the general air and atmosphere of going to a club that I'm starting to find strange; and strange in a negative way.

Sure, troubling thoughts and frustration get thrown away in wild abandon amid the crazy shimmying and eardrum-bursting beats. But momentary, is it not?

Today at MoS, I found out a couple of things:
-If you want to see the craziest and most uninhibited sides of people, go clubbing.
-If you want to find out if she broke up with him or go "Whoa! Isn't that him with a new girl?!", go clubbing.
-If you want to see strangers french-kissing, go clubbing.
-If you want to immerse yourself in the feeling of getting swamped by tons of strange guys, go clubbing.
-If you want to see how your ex is getting on, go clubbing.
-If you want to see how unfeeling people can be, go clubbing.
-If you want to see what alcohol does to even the shyest of people, go clubbing.
-If you want to see underaged UWC girls flashing their fake ID's and mopping up the dance floor with an entourage of men who just picked them up shortly before, go clubbing.

Sometimes people think that in a smoke-filled tavern throbbing with loud music and jostling crowds, it's possible to lose themselves. To throw away inhibition and put-their-hands-in-the-air-like-they-just-don't-care. I'm not sure about you, but I do seem to notice people more in a club than I do in normal circumstances. And when I see them in the process of losing themselves, I get quite disturbed. Because I did it one time before at Chinablack, and it's an experience I never want to revisit. It was frightening; to see a ghost of myself gorging on the misguided knowledge that I was able to lose my identity there.

Maybe I'm just tired today. And I don't like shots very much anymore, not at 11 buckaroos a pop.

That said, I did have a reasonably good night. It wasn't one of my worst clubbing experiences, not even close. But like I said, I think I'm just tired. Nevertheless, thank you- to the people who made my night better.

Onz, Xueling, Corina, Neighbour, Lirong (even though it would have been nicer if we had spent more time together!), Junming, Xunming. And also the very drunk Anna who kept telling me she loved me each time we met.

To Onz and Anna;-
Keep your heart where it should belong.
Far from the person who had it for a little while,
but had not the ability to keep it.


Laid bare at 4:01 am
|